Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Breath of Life

My heart is heavy tonight, burdened by the pains of others, but also filled with hope in the God of miracles. Two lives, thousands of miles apart, are both fighting to breathe due to lung problems. The first, a young woman, my friend Shelley, who received a double lung transplant a few months ago. She is now in the hospital facing some major unknown complications, fighting to breath on her own. Awaiting test results that might give bad news or worse news.
The second, tiny baby Elias, born at just 30 weeks, son of Pastor Eligio and Cinthia in Paraguay. His lungs aren't fully developed yet and he's in the ICU in an incubator. Tests being done each day to monitor his progress during this delicate situation.  These situations don't look so happy, but although my heart hurts for them, I have hope. Hope in my God. My God who does miracles. Whose timing and plans are perfect, though they are not always what we'd like to happen. A God who never leaves us, nor forsakes us. Who sees us in our victories and our pains. God sees you, Shelley. His beautiful daughter who He formed so perfectly. His plans for you are perfect, as is His timing. He knows exactly what is going to happen and is guiding each doctor there taking care of you. Your husband's sweet posts on Facebook have let me see a faith so genuine and loving and it's encouraged me so much. God sees you two and He loves you both. God sees you, Elias. His tiny baby son, so sweet. He formed each little finger and each little toe. He is building your body cell by cell, little by little, as you learn how your body works and what to do with it. He's watching over your doctors, giving them the knowledge of how to coach your lungs into doing their thing. He's watching your loving mommy and daddy and holding them close during this time of such uncertainty. He loves the three of you and He sees you in your time of need. Oh Lord. I love you and I have faith that you will do miraculous things in both these situations. Please comfort Shelley and Elias and their families. Guide the doctors' hands and minds as they perform procedures and tests and give diagnoses.  May Your healing hand be upon Shelley's new lungs and her whole body, releasing her of her pain and any infection or rejection she may be facing. May they also be upon sweet Elias. On his tiny little body, still developing and growing. You as His Creator, Father. You know how each little cell functions and you know how to help his lungs breath. You breathed the breath of life onto these sweet children of Yours, Father. Now help them to breath on their own.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

So I wait.

Two big, black duffel bags.
Exactly 50 pounds each.
Ready for a 4,000+ mile journey.

...Fast forward 22 months...

Two big, black duffel bags.
Almost 50 pounds each.
Resting from the 4,000+ mile journey.
Colorful duct tape caring for the wounds inflicted by their travel. 

And here I am.
Back "home."

Or at least, that's what they tell me.
"It's so good to have you home."

~~


HOME.

That silly word again.

I'm not sure how I feel about it this time. 

Because this time, I'm not on "vacation" like I was last time. 
Last time was a six-week trip to the US to be with family and friends for the holidays and fundraise for year two. 
Now, it's just life. 

For the first time in a long, long time I'm unemployed.

Currently...
I'm not a missionary.
I'm not a teacher. 
I'm just Cassidy.

Cassidy, who gets her last paycheck on Tuesday.
Cassidy, who has plans for the future swirling in her head, along with a bucketful of emotions.
Cassidy, who left her heart in Paraguay and is finding out what pieces she has here.

And it feels weird. 

The question I've heard the most in these last ten days has been "So how long are you here for?"

And every time I don't know the answer. 

I'm waiting on God. 

And for the first time in my life I'm just... STILL.

No job.
No concrete plans.

...A mountain of debt... 

So I'm just taking things moment by moment. 
One step at a time. 

He told me Step One was Get on the Plane.
Step Two was Go to Lyz's Wedding. 

And now... I wait.

I wait as God reveals Step Three, Four, Five...

But I have faith. I have hope.

I know He'll make a way.
I know He'll show off like always with a Plan much better than my own. 

So I wait. 



Friday, November 6, 2015

Happy Friday! Or in my case, not so happy....

As you may know, I am planning to return to the US in just a few short weeks. What many people in Paraguay are now realizing is that I'm not planning to return next year. 

Just minutes ago, I made a whole class of third graders cry. Needless to say, I was crying, too. 

I need your prayers. My students need your prayers. My transition to the US isn't going to be easy. Not only for me, but for the hundreds of students, friends, and "family" I'm leaving behind. 

After this morning's experience with third grade, I'm not sure how I'm going to break the news to the other classes that haven't heard yet.
Please pray for me as I do so over these last three weeks of school. 

It's hard to explain to young children why I'm going because I want to stay in Paraguay.

I love teaching at New Horizon.
I love living in Paraguay.
I love my life here.
I love my students.
I love my friends.

But, I'm an adult. An adult with $30,000 in student loans, struggling to raise financial support to stay in Paraguay, with a contract hanging over my head that says "you must work for four years in the US or you owe us $16,000." 
(the TEACH Grant, I received as financial aid.)

So being the responsible adult that I am, I booked a one-way ticket. 

It's sometimes hard to leave when you want to. It's always million times harder when you don't.

So I'm asking for your prayers.
Pray for me in my last weeks in Paraguay. Pray that people see my impact here. The way God worked through me these last two years. Pray that I am reminded of it, too. 
Pray for me as I pack and travel. Although I love change (usually), it's the transitions that cause me to have emotional breakdowns. 
Pray for my transition back to US culture. It's going to be a tough challenge speaking English everyday again, eating different foods, changing cultural routines. And please, I ask for grace as I wade through these muddy mental waters of reverse culture shock. 
Pray for my future. Pray as I listen for God's voice to direct me to what's next. I'm praying hard for a miracle. A miracle that will help pay my debts and put me back on a plane to Paraguay -- ¡pronto!

Because as our school's theme verse this year reminds us, 
NOTHING is impossible for GOD! 

So I'm praying, hard. 
Because my God is bigger than $30,000 of student loans. 
Bigger than the $16,000 I'd have to pay if I don't go back to teach.
Bigger than the $12,000+ per year I have to raise to stay in Paraguay.

Will you pray with me? 


Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart
Psalm 37:4

For nothing is impossible with God.
Luke 1:37

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
         And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
         And He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 

What the Lord spoke to me a few months ago...

This is what the Lord says: “When [four] years are completed for [your TEACH Grant], I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this placeFor I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a futureThen you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to youYou will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord...
Jeremiah 29:10-14a

Friday, August 21, 2015

Twenty-Three

Usually New Year's Eve is a time for people to look back and reflect on their year, see their accomplishments, and look forward to what's to come. Last year however, as I looked forward to my twenty-third year of life, I decided to reflect back on everything that happened in my exciting year twenty-two.

Today, as I prepare to leave this afternoon to spend the weekend serving at another Encounter with God - this time for adolescents, most being my science lab students last year - I'm thinking back on this year and remembering all the neat things that have happened. 

I turned 23 on the 23rd last August and I was determined to make this a good year. Since I was in first grade, 23 has been my favorite number, and for it to be my favorite number and my golden birthday, something amazing had to happen this year right?

Twenty-three started off with a celebration with my host family at a new restaurant with a whole buffet of beautiful desserts. I later was whisked off to a surprise dinner with all the missionaries. This part included driving through Asunción in the dark after the power went out, with part of the surprise ruined as Natalie and Mary scrambled to call everyone to change locations to the other Mexican restaurant in town that actually had power. What a memory!! :D 

God really spoke to me at the end of August at the Encounter with God for women and I had an unforgettable experience, realizing how much I have a call to serve.  

September is special because I spent a week in Yrybucua serving with the St. Matthew medical clinic team and experienced God in such a tangible way. 

After that trip, a new friendship blossomed into true love as Nolberto and I started talking everyday.... which has resulted in a now six-month relationship with the love of my life. :)

In November, I finished my first year of teaching, an accomplishment years in the making, and felt so proud of myself. I was also in a little disbelief that I survived, but all the more confident that I was exactly where I needed to be and excited to come back for year two. 

December was a difficult transition back home with reverse culture shock hitting me hard and the realization that my heart will never be complete again, as it's split in pieces now. 

January was full of traveling.... Florida, Seattle, Ohio, Olivet, Chicago, Paraguay... all within three weeks! It was an absolute blast to see new places, and spend quality time with so many loved ones who I hadn't seen in so long. 

My time in Paraguay has been more difficult this year than last, but every time I get discouraged, I'm reminded of how much of a difference I'm making. When I came back, my colleagues at school were so happy to see me and my students were excited to have me as their teacher again. 

In May for Teacher's Day, I received so many notes and gifts from students, expressing their love and appreciation for me. Once again reminding me that my purpose here, to share God's love, was being fulfilled. 

I've had a wonderful year serving in various capacities and deepening relationships, and the only bad part in all of this will be having to say goodbye at the end of the year. 

Today, my amazing fifth graders threw me surprise parties in the morning and afternoon classes. Each one wrote me a card that that almost made me cry. Each one wrote how much they love me and how I'm "the best teacher in the world." They wrote about my patience and kindness and how I make them laugh. They wrote how thankful they are for me and how they know it's hard to be away from my family on my birthday. One girl wrote, "but we are your second family." :)

Twenty-three sure was great, but it looks like twenty-four is shaping up to be wonderful as well. :)

Thank you God, for leading me exactly where I need to be and for showing me I'm making a difference! :)

Monday, August 3, 2015

Ministry update - August 3rd

Hola a todos!

Wow, it's been a crazy few weeks here in Paraguay. 
Winter is coming to a fast close as temperatures are back up to the 80s and 90s again some days. 

Over our two week winter vacation in July, I helped serve at the first ever youth camp for the North District at the Quinta Linea church near Yrybucua. Over 50 teens and young adults from 7 different churches participated. It was a wonderful two days full of dynamic preaching, fun games and competitions, rocking out to some new worship music, and lots of fellowship. Everyone left with a deeper understanding of God's love, and a renewed hunger to continue growing in their relationship with their Heavenly Father.


Group photo
Credit: Eliane Lacentre


Credit: Eliane Lacentre

Credit: Eliane Lacentre


Credit: Eliane Lacentre

Credit: Eliane Lacentre

Credit: Eliane Lacentre

On the second day, Pastora Joyce from Brazil, who preached at the national youth camp in February, gave a workshop on evangelism and then we spilt into four big groups and did some door-to-door evangelism. Several people accepted Christ in just the one hour we went out. Praise the Lord!


Credit: Eliane Lacentre
Credit: Eliane Lacentre
Credit: Eliane Lacentre

The youth in this district have so much potential and we're so glad the dream of having this camp became a reality. This camp allowed them to grow deeper in their relationship with the Lord and see how they can use their gifts to further God's kingdom. We're looking forward to doing more activities in this district in the future. 

While we were in Yrybucua for the camp, we helped continue the work on the new medical clinic with the team from Alpharetta First United Methodist Church in Georgia. On our last day, we held our devotional on site to dedicate the clinic and pray over every wall. 

Worshipping in the clinic
Special handmade quilt from Alpharetta for the clinic

Working hard to build the inside walls 

Prayer Requests:
- For the youth of the North District. Pray that the presence of the Lord they experienced at camp is something they will continue to grow in each day. That they will become leaders in their churches and help to spread Christ's love in their homes and communities.
- Pray for the upcoming Encounter with God and spiritual retreats. For the participants to be open to receive, for those serving, for the weather, sound equipment, etc. Pray however you feel led, and feel free to join us as we fast 6, 12, and 18 hours in the weeks leading up to the events. 
  • Adolescents and Youth Encounter with God: Aug 21-23
  • Women's Encounter with God: Aug 289-30
  • Men's Spiritual Retreat: September
Continue to pray for Osmar Vera, as he continues his recovery from the motorcycle accident he had in April. He is now walking again, with help, and is still attending physical therapy twice a week in Santani. (An hour from his house).
Osmar at his house in Yrybucua
- Pray for me as I finish my last FOUR months in Paraguay. Time is flying, and as my departure draws nearer everyday, my heart is torn into pieces when I think about leaving this beautiful country that I love so dearly. Pray for the transition, emotions, job search, and everything else that comes with moving internationally. 

Love you all,
Cassidy


Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Nothing is Impossible for God!

Hola a todos, 

As you may have heard on Facebook, or through other means, last Thursday night I was robbed at knifepoint on my way home from school. As we head into winter, the sun has been setting pretty early and by 6:30 it's already pretty dark outside. At about 6;15pm, I was walking home from school, getting ready to relax and enjoy our long weekend. I only walk about three blocks from school to home, so very often this year I've walked home by myself, since I often stay later to grade papers and prepare lessons and no longer have a roommate to walk with me.  

Unfortunately, on that short walk I encountered two young men walking the same direction as I was who ended up assaulting me. One stopped and the other kept walking. I thought it was odd, but didn't think too much of it. As I kept walking, passing the one who stopped, I heard footsteps behind me running at me and then felt the guy grab me from behind and hold a knife to my back while the other turned around and they both started asking for my phone and purse. In order not to be harmed by the knife, I quickly complied, handing over all my belongings. Once they had what they wanted they ran off, and luckily I wasn't physically harmed.

It wasn't until after they ran off that I was deeply scared about what had happened. In the moment I felt calm and knew if I just gave them what I wanted I'd be okay. I thank God for His hand of protection over me that kept me calm and safe.  

Although this was a very traumatic experience that will affect me for a while longer, I refuse to be defeated by this. My God will always have the victory! As I sat home on Sunday night, grading the mountain of exams that were in the bag the robbers didn't steal, I began to see the results of all my hard work teaching English these last few months. Third graders drawing objects in a house according to instructions in English, fourth graders writing what they want to be when they grow up, and fifth graders combining various skills in order to change singular sentences to plural. And most important of all, every student answering the bonus point question, completing our theme verse this year NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD! Luke 1:37

And that's just it, NOTHING is impossible for God! I believe this with my whole heart, that nothing in my life is too much or too big for my God to handle. I've faced many obstacles and challenges this year, but I must always keep my eyes on Him and remember that He is bigger than all of it. And I encourage you to do the same today. 

Whatever you are facing, whether it's daily stresses or recovering from a robbery, just remember that Nothing is Impossible for God, and that He will bring you through. 

Blessings to all of you,
Cassidy


I am still in URGENT need of funds to keep me here the rest of the year, please consider making a donation by visiting www.uwm.org/give

Monday, June 8, 2015

I need your help! - June 8th Update

Hello everyone!

Paraguay is heading into wintertime which means temps are cooling down and we're finishing up the first semester here at New Horizon. All of us teachers are busy preparing final exams and grading papers, and our students are studying hard.

As I mentioned in my last update, I am in urgent need of funds to stay in Paraguay for the rest of the school year. I am currently only funded through JULY. I still have six more months left in the school year, which means I need your help.
Please prayfully consider committing to a monthly donation for the next six months, or making a one-time donation.

Your continued support helps young students in Lambaré and youth in Asunción learn English that will help prepare them for a successful future and create new opportunities for them. You are also helping kids in the San Vicente neighborhood of Asunción learn about Jesus in my Saturday bible class. Not to mention the countless other Paraguayans who I interact with at various events throughout the year.

Please prayfully consider investing in God's work here in Paraguay.
You can do so by visiting www.uwm.org/give


This week's prayer requests and praises:
- Pray for my students who will be taking their English exams tomorrow and for me as I grade all 300+ exams afterward and finish final grades by the end of the month. 
- Pray for the children who come to our bible classes at church on Saturday afternoons. We are praising God that our children's program is growing. Pray for them to learn about God's love and be a light in their homes to help bring their families to church. 
- Pray for Fernando and Diosnel, two 12-year-old boys who have started coming to church every week and are growing in their faith. When asked why he started coming to church, Fernando said "Because I feel loved here."
- PRAISE: Osmar is finally back at home after almost two months in Asunción after his motorcycle accident. The doctors said his head/brain is doing just fine and now he will continue physical therapy in Yrybucua. He is gaining mobility each day in his hand and foot, but still cannot walk yet. 

Thank you for your prayers!

May God bless you,
Cassidy