Rekindle (Part One)

Two years ago God called me to Paraguay the first time through a few different happenings, but specifically through a passage in Isaiah 2 that tells of a day when the idols will fall away and the Lord will be exalted.
(Isaiah 2:11-22)

My first time in Paraguay I saw many of the strongholds and idols present in the country and heard many stories about the missionaries who come here with a desire to serve, only to leave discouraged and exhausted from the lack of responsiveness to the Gospel. I learned of the nickname "Missionary Cemetery," that has been given to Paraguay based on the actual deaths of missionaries as well as the termination of some missions programs that were unsuccessful here because of this unresponsiveness.
Those stories and the images I saw here myself are what fueled my desire to come back to this country to serve and bring more of God's light into the darkness present here.

Before coming this year I had the idea that I would arrive on fire for change and would be able to get really involved and see my work make an impact on others pretty easily. This was definitely a good vision, but not what has happened this year so far. My schedule has been so busy with teaching, which has been a real challenge itself, that I haven't been able to get super involved in other ministries as much as I would like. I've also been dealing with a lot of spiritual warfare, which has discouraged me in my work here and has left me sitting in my room some nights wishing I was back home already. It's drained me of my energy and has often taken away my passion for being here. I really have to remind myself a lot of why God brought me here and what I have to offer.

Some of what has led to these feelings has been a pure lack of knowledge of what's going on around me which has made each day just seem mundane, but that is all beginning to change...

Two weeks ago, New Horizon's General Director, Sue Givens, finally arrived back in Paraguay and since then I have learned so much about our school, our students, the neighborhood, the country, missions, and more. Finally meeting Sue after talking to her for a year and a half through emails and phone calls was so great, and I have really enjoyed talking to her and learning more about her work here in Paraguay and her heart for these people.

Natalie, Sue, me, and Alex
on Sue's first day back at school

Talking to Sue has reminded me of why I came here in the first place and has helped me start getting out of the discouraged funk I was in for weeks.

Last night while sitting next to Sue at the middle and high school Mother's Day celebration, she leaned over and whispered the stories of some of the kids as they performed...
"That girl and her brother are straight A students..."
"That girl's dad works a minimum wage job at the yacht club..."
"That boy is an artist..."
"That girl's mother died when she was in second grade..."

9th grade girls

Slowly these students started becoming more than the teal polos that say hi to me everyday in the halls and my mind began to fill in the gaps and see these smiling kids as products of the love and care New Horizon has offered them. I've been teaching here since February, but I haven't had a chance to learn each student's story or go look around the neighborhood to see where they live. All I've known about them is what I've see them do in my class or in the halls. Now I'm finally starting to learn what makes each student unique. 

After talking to Sue at the celebration, my heart was so filled with love for my students all over again and the spiritual fire that I had been missing recently was starting to ignite again.
I ended up going to church last night with Alex at Fuente de Vida (Source of Life) and God began reminding me of why I wanted to come here in the first place.
He brought me back to Isaiah and told me:

"Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you.
Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn."
Isaiah 60:1-3

Hearing this passage at church was like a big hug from the Lord. I heard Him saying, "See this? Remember the plans I have for you here?" And I began to get excited again about the time I still have left this year. 

When I got home, I looked through a couple care packages I received yesterday and read a stack of index card notes from Nicole Enzinger, three Olivet students who share our heart for Honduras, and a bunch of people from Nicole's church. Each one was so encouraging and they were filled with scripture, truths, and prayers that I have so desperately been needing these last few weeks. 

I went to bed super encouraged, with a light heart and an excitement to keep learning more and letting God use me every way He can.