Bag the Live Ones

About a week ago I met with Joy, a seasoned missionary here in Paraguay, to talk to her about life and my decisions for next year.

I began realizing on my walk to the church to meet with her that a lot of the struggles I’ve been facing here in Paraguay are simply deep spiritual warfare that has tried to discourage me and distract me from my mission here. As I began talking to Joy about this and revealing many of the struggles I’ve been facing and their effect on my life here, she shared a story with me that she said has stuck with her for many years.

Once there was a plantation owner in the South who owned a slave named Sam. Sam was a Christian, but his master was not. Bad things always happened to Sam while his master lived a nice, carefree life. All day Sam would sing praises to the Lord while he worked and one day his master took note of this and came up to him to ask him about it.    

“Sam, why do you always sing praises to your Lord, even though bad things are always happening to you?” 

“I’m not sure, I guess I’ll have to think about that.” said Sam.

A few days later Sam’s master saw some ducks flying overhead and yelled for Sam to come along with him to hunt them. So off they went and they began shooting them down. Killing some while only wounding some others, who started running away. 

Suddenly Sam’s master began yelling, “Bag the live ones! Bag the live ones! Leave the dead ones and bag the live ones, Sam!” and at that moment Sam realized something. 

“Master! Master! I’ve got it! I know why bad things don’t happen to you! You see, I'm a live one. The Devil is afraid I'm going to get away, so he tries to bag me first. But you, Master, are a dead one! He's already got you, he's not worried about you."

Joy told me that because I’m a live one, the devil keeps trying to do all he can to stop me from being successful here. I need to do my best to not let him win. 

I’ve heard people say that the closer to the Lord you are, the more spiritual attacks you may come against because the Devil is really jealous. I’ve definitely experienced that throughout the years and after talking to different missionaries, I've found it’s very common on the mission field as well. Every missionary that leaves the mission field discouraged and defeated is another victory for the enemy, so he tries his hardest to make that happen.

I’m determined not to be one of his victories, but instead I plan to stand firm where I am and claim the victory of Christ. :)

"I'm glad I came"

Last Tuesday, I had the opportunity to accompany Alex to his English classes at a nearby public school, Ava Mba’e. It was an experience that left me nearly speechless.

But before I tell you what I experienced there, let me tell you a little about my friend, Alex.

Alex Mitchell is an 18-year-old from Bellevue, IL, whom I affectionately refer to as my little brother. This is Alex’s fourth visit to Paraguay. He started coming in 2009 on one-week medical mission trips with his church. After getting a few little tastes of Paraguay he was hooked. He prayed about an opportunity to come back and after working his butt off to finish high school a semester early, he arrived here just days before me in January.

Alex is a really hard worker and has a deep passion for the Lord and the people of Paraguay. His goal while here is to disciple others by building intentional relationships with the people he meets. He has gone above and beyond in the last five months to help out at the school and his church and after a lot of prayer he decided to stay an additional month before going home to prepare for college. (We’re all really sad he’s leaving and think he should pray some more and stay forever ;) )

One day, Alex decided he needed to pick up a new project because he had a lot of free time on his hands and still had six weeks before he leaves. He decided to visit a public school to walk around and pray for God to speak to him about a way to evangelize. By the time he left the school, he was committed to three weekly English classes. After hearing about how well these classes were going, I was really excited to go with him last week.

I met Alex at his house and after about a ten minute walk, we had arrived. The school is small, just an L-shaped building, whose classrooms open onto a patio in the interior of the L shape.  We stopped by the office to say hello to the principal and then made our way to the first classroom. The teacher welcomed us in and the students were so excited for our arrival.

Upon entering the first classroom, I realized I was in a whole different world from our nice, missionary-built, private Christian school. The first two classrooms we visited were no bigger than my freshman dorm room, with mismatched chairs and desks, completely covered in writing and scribbles. The students in each grade were a variety of ages, many with obvious learning disabilities. The air was heavy and hard to breath with my already scratchy throat. But despite all the negative, I saw hope.

I saw kids eager to learn English from two rubios.
Kids who were excited to show off what they’ve learned to Teacher Alex’s visiting friend.
Kids who begged for attention, as well as kids who were shy.
Above all, I saw kids who are LOVED by the Lord.

For fifteen minutes we had the opportunity to sit outside while the students played during recess. I happened to notice that just about every one of these students was particularly thin, and each one had a different interpretation of the school dress code.  They ran around playing on the patio and on the soccer field below, which was surrounded by trash that two students were later given the task of starting on fire. There seemed to be an emptiness in the air. A void of some kind that was hard to place. Alex asked what I thought about it all and I barely had words to answer. It was a mixture of the sadness I was seeing before me and the hope the Lord placed on my heart.
“I’m glad I came.” I finally uttered.

The students stared at us, seemingly curious, yet ignored my attempts at starting conversation. A simple “Hola, cómo estan?” was returned with blank stares and averted eye contact, until a sweet boy from fourth grade found me. 

Patricio Samuel. 

He was excited to talk to me and continually made eye contact.
“What was your name?”
“What’s your second name?”
“What’s your last name?”
My last name baffled him so we decided to go ask Alex his names. Which then turned into a conversation about our pretty eyes.

Patricio Samuel.

I spent just a short time with this boy, but the image of him will stay with me for a while.
His dark eyes, one obscured by a gray cloud.
His thin face.
His sweet smile.
His curious spirit.

Patricio Samuel.
A beloved child of the King.

A reason for hope in this dark place.

“I’m glad I came.”

Ghost Town

Two weeks ago we had a couple days off of school, so Sue decided to take Natalie and I out on a tour of Lambaré.

She decided we should start the day’s tour of at the cemetery, since we hadn’t seen one yet. Since Wednesday was Paraguayan Independence Day, the official entrance to the cemetery was closed, so we went in through a side entrance. Once through the gates, I didn’t realize right away that we were actually in the cemetery already.

At first glance it seemed like we were transported into a small town, whose paved asphalt road was lined with carefully shaped trees and small decorated houses. After walking past a few of these “houses,” I began to realize they all had family names on plaques above the doors. It was then when I realized that these “houses” were each family’s gravesites. 

Sue began to explain the traditions of Paraguayan burials as we made our way through the maze of family mausoleums. In Paraguay all of the graves are above ground in house-like mausoleums or small shrines that enclose the cremated remains or casket of the lost loved one. She mentioned how it is typical for caskets to have a glass window over the face of the deceased.

"Temporary housing" for some caskets

We first wound our way around the more wealthy family gravesites, along tight paths through the stately looking mausoleums, each having a locked door adorned with a stained glass cross on the front. Many mausoleums we passed had broken windows making it easy to see inside. We stopped and peeked into some of them, to see shelves inside on which the caskets were just sitting there on either side of another shelf where flowers and pictures can be placed.

As we got deeper into the cemetery, it began getting harder and harder to find a path through the graves. The small shrines became more and more concentrated, many built one on top of the other, creating a confusing, senseless maze of decorated tombs.  Here was where the lower income families left their loved ones. 

It seemed so surreal to me as we made our way through the small spaces between graves, carefully placing our feet on the almost nonexistent path between them. As we rounded the corner, we saw a couple women tending to a grave, one putting out new flowers, while the other sat crying. We carefully squeezed our way past as Sue explained how many people come to the cemeteries and cry over their lost loved ones for decades, feeling they have no hope, because they don’t know the hope of Christ.

The whole experience in the cemetery was extremely surreal and brought a whole new perspective on evangelism in this country. These people are searching for hope. For peace. And that’s exactly what Christ has for them.

Rekindle (Part Two)

Last week I awoke on Wednesday really encouraged about what God was going to do in and through me this year. I reread the passage in Isaiah 60 that God had showed me the night before and got ready for my outing with Natalie and Sue.

We took a tour all over Lambaré, which included visiting a cemetery, learning about the statues on top of Cerro Lambaré, driving through the yacht club, and seeing the neighborhoods where our students live.

Sue told us about the changes that have happened since she moved here, such as new developments on once barren fields, controversial political issues, and community improvements. It was really interesting to hear how many changes she’s seen, both good and bad, since she moved here in 2000.

The whole day was extremely eye-opening. It was a huge reality check of what goes on right around us that we haven’t been seeing by living comfortably with our host family and teaching at a private school. I was reminded of the strongholds Satan has on this country, and the idols these people fall victim to. But the best reminder of all, was how God brought me here for a reason, and that although my year is almost halfway over, that means I still have half a year left to make a difference! ;)

Since that tour of Lambaré, I’ve had a fresh outlook on my purpose here in Paraguay. I’ve been reminded of how much good our school does for this community and have been eager to find more ways to get involved.

During our tour Sue drove us through the “flood zone” neighborhood, where the road has fallen out in some places and garbage litters the fields. We drove through the “settlement,” where families who have moved out of the interior of the country have settled into an overcrowded community on a once barren field just minutes from our school. Sue showed us the houses right underneath high voltage power lines and told us stories of power surges that have exploded houses and of families contracting cancer and other diseases for “unknown reasons” since moving there.

These are the communities where my kids live. 

MY kids.
The ones who shout “Hola Teacher!” when I walk into school.
Who say “Profe, mira!” when they proudly finish their work.
My kids who give me hugs, kisses, and candies when they enter my class.
The students whose teachers tell me “They just LOVE your class.”

For forty minutes, twice a week, each of my little smiling angels get to see Jesus reflected through my smiles, hugs, and silly dances about new vocabulary words.
This, THIS, is why I came to Paraguay.

I thank God that He has reminded me to live in the present and make decisions each day to do my best to serve Him.

I’m tired of the Enemy clouding my days with dark discouragement.

I came to be LIGHT.

I came here to SHINE.


"Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you.
Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn."
Isaiah 60:1-3

Rekindle (Part One)

Two years ago God called me to Paraguay the first time through a few different happenings, but specifically through a passage in Isaiah 2 that tells of a day when the idols will fall away and the Lord will be exalted.
(Isaiah 2:11-22)

My first time in Paraguay I saw many of the strongholds and idols present in the country and heard many stories about the missionaries who come here with a desire to serve, only to leave discouraged and exhausted from the lack of responsiveness to the Gospel. I learned of the nickname "Missionary Cemetery," that has been given to Paraguay based on the actual deaths of missionaries as well as the termination of some missions programs that were unsuccessful here because of this unresponsiveness.
Those stories and the images I saw here myself are what fueled my desire to come back to this country to serve and bring more of God's light into the darkness present here.

Before coming this year I had the idea that I would arrive on fire for change and would be able to get really involved and see my work make an impact on others pretty easily. This was definitely a good vision, but not what has happened this year so far. My schedule has been so busy with teaching, which has been a real challenge itself, that I haven't been able to get super involved in other ministries as much as I would like. I've also been dealing with a lot of spiritual warfare, which has discouraged me in my work here and has left me sitting in my room some nights wishing I was back home already. It's drained me of my energy and has often taken away my passion for being here. I really have to remind myself a lot of why God brought me here and what I have to offer.

Some of what has led to these feelings has been a pure lack of knowledge of what's going on around me which has made each day just seem mundane, but that is all beginning to change...

Two weeks ago, New Horizon's General Director, Sue Givens, finally arrived back in Paraguay and since then I have learned so much about our school, our students, the neighborhood, the country, missions, and more. Finally meeting Sue after talking to her for a year and a half through emails and phone calls was so great, and I have really enjoyed talking to her and learning more about her work here in Paraguay and her heart for these people.

Natalie, Sue, me, and Alex
on Sue's first day back at school

Talking to Sue has reminded me of why I came here in the first place and has helped me start getting out of the discouraged funk I was in for weeks.

Last night while sitting next to Sue at the middle and high school Mother's Day celebration, she leaned over and whispered the stories of some of the kids as they performed...
"That girl and her brother are straight A students..."
"That girl's dad works a minimum wage job at the yacht club..."
"That boy is an artist..."
"That girl's mother died when she was in second grade..."

9th grade girls

Slowly these students started becoming more than the teal polos that say hi to me everyday in the halls and my mind began to fill in the gaps and see these smiling kids as products of the love and care New Horizon has offered them. I've been teaching here since February, but I haven't had a chance to learn each student's story or go look around the neighborhood to see where they live. All I've known about them is what I've see them do in my class or in the halls. Now I'm finally starting to learn what makes each student unique. 

After talking to Sue at the celebration, my heart was so filled with love for my students all over again and the spiritual fire that I had been missing recently was starting to ignite again.
I ended up going to church last night with Alex at Fuente de Vida (Source of Life) and God began reminding me of why I wanted to come here in the first place.
He brought me back to Isaiah and told me:

"Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you.
Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn."
Isaiah 60:1-3

Hearing this passage at church was like a big hug from the Lord. I heard Him saying, "See this? Remember the plans I have for you here?" And I began to get excited again about the time I still have left this year. 

When I got home, I looked through a couple care packages I received yesterday and read a stack of index card notes from Nicole Enzinger, three Olivet students who share our heart for Honduras, and a bunch of people from Nicole's church. Each one was so encouraging and they were filled with scripture, truths, and prayers that I have so desperately been needing these last few weeks. 

I went to bed super encouraged, with a light heart and an excitement to keep learning more and letting God use me every way He can. 

Día a día

Things just never seem to slow down here in Paraguay. 
My schedule just gets busier and busier as I get more involved with school and church activities. 

Here's a general idea of my daily routines, though some things change from week-to-week.

Monday through Thursday I teach at New Horizon Methodist School. 
Students come in two different groups, turno mañana - morning session and turno tarde - afternoon session. 
Staff devotional time begins at 6:45am and turno mañana starts at 7:00 and lasts between 11:25 and 1:00pm depending on what grade the students are in. Early elementary gets out first and high school is last. 
Turno tarde starts at 1:00 and ends by 6:15.
Every day I go home for lunch between 11:30 and 12:15 and return between 1:00 and 2:00 depending on my class schedule that day. 
We eat dinner around 10:00pm most nights and then get ready for bed. 

MONDAYS
On Monday mornings from 7:00-9:00 I observe the 11th and 12th grade chemistry classes and help students with their in class work. Many students have trouble passing chemistry here so I help in class and will be starting a tutoring session on Tuesday afternoons. 
After that I leave the high school building and go across the street to the main school building to teach third grade ESL. After that class I either stay in the teacher's lounge to plan lessons for the week or I go home early for lunch. 
I return sometime in the afternoon to plan lessons and then teach the third grade afternoon class from 3:35-4:15. I usually go home after that.
Monday afternoons Natalie and I usually walk with Alex to the nearest supermarket so he can buy his weekly groceries. He doesn't live with a host family, so he makes breakfast and dinner for himself at his house. We usually get back before it gets dark at 6:30.
Monday nights are usually spent at home relaxing, while mamá and papá are at a home bible study. 

TUESDAYS
Tuesdays I teach high school lab courses from 9:00-11:45. 
After lunch I return to plan lessons and wait to see if anyone shows up for chemistry tutoring... so far no one has. Profe Amalia said they will probably start coming once they start having tests and seeing their grades. When that happens, I'll be doing tutoring from 3-5.
Tuesday nights I go to the weekly prayer meeting at church. 

WEDNESDAYS
During each turno on Wednesdays I teach second, fourth, and fifth grade ESL. I have classes first and last hour each turno so I'm at school the entire day, 6:45pm-5:30pm, except for my hour and a half lunch break. 
At 7:00pm we have bible study at home with some members of the church. 

THURSDAYS
Thursdays are my long days. I teach second, third, fourth, and fifth grade ESL both turnos. By the end of turno mañana I always have to remind myself that it's only 11:30, not 5:30, and that I still have to come back and do it all again! I often ask myself, "Did I eat lunch yet?" because I can't remember what turno I'm in. It's a little disappointing when I realize it's not even noon yet.
Thursday afternoons I often nap out of sheer exhaustion from my week. We usually end up doing something interesting on Thursday nights and I stay up late because I'm off on Fridays. 

In addition to all of that, I teach 7th, 8th, and 9th grade lab classes once a month, which squeeze right in between my classes on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

FRIDAYS
Día libre! My off day! I usually sleep in and skype with people while Natalie is at school. We usually hang out with church friends or with Alex on Friday nights.

The first Friday of every month we have a prayer vigil at church from 8:00pm to midnight. After it's over we all eat together at church and get home around 1:00am. 

SATURDAYS
Saturdays can be unpredictable. It's either a day to sleep in, or it's getting up early to go on some adventure. If there's not a big event going on or I'm not out of town, at around 4:30 I leave to go to church for the youth service. Afterwards we usually stay up late hanging out with friends.

SUNDAYS
Church in the morning. We leave at 7:15 and get back home around 11:00. Then we usually eat a big lunch, often with many of our church friends or family. After lunch we all usually rest for a couple hours and then I have English class with my host sisters and some of our friends and we usually end up making food or watching a movie afterwards. Then we end up staying up late hanging out and playing UNO. 


That's a basic rundown of my weekly routine. All the moments unaccounted for are spent taking naps, going out to an event or someone's birthday party, drinking tereré, hanging out with friends, playing UNO, or eating, haha. 

Hopefully that gives you a better idea of what my life is like here. :)

Want to know more? Ask me questions and I'll post all the answers in my next post! 

Testing, testing...

I came to Paraguay bursting with confidence. 
Confidence in my health, my teaching abilities, my go-with-the-flow attitude, and my independence.
Yet since I've gotten here those have all been tested. 

Concussion. Bruises. Sickness. Mosquito bites. Exhaustion.
Organic chemistry. Rowdy students. Punching. Not listening. 
Busy schedule. Different meal times. Power outages. 
Language barriers. Lost iPhone. Malfunctioning computer.

The confidence I had in myself and my abilities has been tested to the limits every day since I've been here. 
I've gotten discouraged and beat up mentally and emotionally too many times in the last two months. 

But that's not what I'm here for. 

I'm here to be obedient to the Lord.
I'm here to shine His light on everyone I meet. 
I'm here to show myself and the world that He is all we need. 
I'm here to proclaim His goodness through my actions and my words.

I'm not here to be upset.
I'm not here to be sad. 
I'm not here to be discouraged.

I'm here to do what God has called me to do.

Despite all of these trials and tests. I'm determined to come out victorious. 

I'm not going to let homesickness, ridiculous amounts of itchy mosquito bites, uncooperative students, organic chemistry in my second language, or anything else steal my joy. 

I am determined to remain encouraged that I am exactly where I'm meant to be and no lost iPhone, power outage, or exhausting day can tear me away from the plan God has brought me here for. 

So, here I am. 4,000 miles away from home. Bites on my legs and bags under my eyes. Ready to be who God needs me to be. 

I came here with a purpose, now I'm ready to fulfill it!