"I'm glad I came"

Last Tuesday, I had the opportunity to accompany Alex to his English classes at a nearby public school, Ava Mba’e. It was an experience that left me nearly speechless.

But before I tell you what I experienced there, let me tell you a little about my friend, Alex.

Alex Mitchell is an 18-year-old from Bellevue, IL, whom I affectionately refer to as my little brother. This is Alex’s fourth visit to Paraguay. He started coming in 2009 on one-week medical mission trips with his church. After getting a few little tastes of Paraguay he was hooked. He prayed about an opportunity to come back and after working his butt off to finish high school a semester early, he arrived here just days before me in January.

Alex is a really hard worker and has a deep passion for the Lord and the people of Paraguay. His goal while here is to disciple others by building intentional relationships with the people he meets. He has gone above and beyond in the last five months to help out at the school and his church and after a lot of prayer he decided to stay an additional month before going home to prepare for college. (We’re all really sad he’s leaving and think he should pray some more and stay forever ;) )

One day, Alex decided he needed to pick up a new project because he had a lot of free time on his hands and still had six weeks before he leaves. He decided to visit a public school to walk around and pray for God to speak to him about a way to evangelize. By the time he left the school, he was committed to three weekly English classes. After hearing about how well these classes were going, I was really excited to go with him last week.

I met Alex at his house and after about a ten minute walk, we had arrived. The school is small, just an L-shaped building, whose classrooms open onto a patio in the interior of the L shape.  We stopped by the office to say hello to the principal and then made our way to the first classroom. The teacher welcomed us in and the students were so excited for our arrival.

Upon entering the first classroom, I realized I was in a whole different world from our nice, missionary-built, private Christian school. The first two classrooms we visited were no bigger than my freshman dorm room, with mismatched chairs and desks, completely covered in writing and scribbles. The students in each grade were a variety of ages, many with obvious learning disabilities. The air was heavy and hard to breath with my already scratchy throat. But despite all the negative, I saw hope.

I saw kids eager to learn English from two rubios.
Kids who were excited to show off what they’ve learned to Teacher Alex’s visiting friend.
Kids who begged for attention, as well as kids who were shy.
Above all, I saw kids who are LOVED by the Lord.

For fifteen minutes we had the opportunity to sit outside while the students played during recess. I happened to notice that just about every one of these students was particularly thin, and each one had a different interpretation of the school dress code.  They ran around playing on the patio and on the soccer field below, which was surrounded by trash that two students were later given the task of starting on fire. There seemed to be an emptiness in the air. A void of some kind that was hard to place. Alex asked what I thought about it all and I barely had words to answer. It was a mixture of the sadness I was seeing before me and the hope the Lord placed on my heart.
“I’m glad I came.” I finally uttered.

The students stared at us, seemingly curious, yet ignored my attempts at starting conversation. A simple “Hola, cómo estan?” was returned with blank stares and averted eye contact, until a sweet boy from fourth grade found me. 

Patricio Samuel. 

He was excited to talk to me and continually made eye contact.
“What was your name?”
“What’s your second name?”
“What’s your last name?”
My last name baffled him so we decided to go ask Alex his names. Which then turned into a conversation about our pretty eyes.

Patricio Samuel.

I spent just a short time with this boy, but the image of him will stay with me for a while.
His dark eyes, one obscured by a gray cloud.
His thin face.
His sweet smile.
His curious spirit.

Patricio Samuel.
A beloved child of the King.

A reason for hope in this dark place.

“I’m glad I came.”

Ghost Town

Two weeks ago we had a couple days off of school, so Sue decided to take Natalie and I out on a tour of Lambaré.

She decided we should start the day’s tour of at the cemetery, since we hadn’t seen one yet. Since Wednesday was Paraguayan Independence Day, the official entrance to the cemetery was closed, so we went in through a side entrance. Once through the gates, I didn’t realize right away that we were actually in the cemetery already.

At first glance it seemed like we were transported into a small town, whose paved asphalt road was lined with carefully shaped trees and small decorated houses. After walking past a few of these “houses,” I began to realize they all had family names on plaques above the doors. It was then when I realized that these “houses” were each family’s gravesites. 

Sue began to explain the traditions of Paraguayan burials as we made our way through the maze of family mausoleums. In Paraguay all of the graves are above ground in house-like mausoleums or small shrines that enclose the cremated remains or casket of the lost loved one. She mentioned how it is typical for caskets to have a glass window over the face of the deceased.

"Temporary housing" for some caskets

We first wound our way around the more wealthy family gravesites, along tight paths through the stately looking mausoleums, each having a locked door adorned with a stained glass cross on the front. Many mausoleums we passed had broken windows making it easy to see inside. We stopped and peeked into some of them, to see shelves inside on which the caskets were just sitting there on either side of another shelf where flowers and pictures can be placed.

As we got deeper into the cemetery, it began getting harder and harder to find a path through the graves. The small shrines became more and more concentrated, many built one on top of the other, creating a confusing, senseless maze of decorated tombs.  Here was where the lower income families left their loved ones. 

It seemed so surreal to me as we made our way through the small spaces between graves, carefully placing our feet on the almost nonexistent path between them. As we rounded the corner, we saw a couple women tending to a grave, one putting out new flowers, while the other sat crying. We carefully squeezed our way past as Sue explained how many people come to the cemeteries and cry over their lost loved ones for decades, feeling they have no hope, because they don’t know the hope of Christ.

The whole experience in the cemetery was extremely surreal and brought a whole new perspective on evangelism in this country. These people are searching for hope. For peace. And that’s exactly what Christ has for them.

Rekindle (Part Two)

Last week I awoke on Wednesday really encouraged about what God was going to do in and through me this year. I reread the passage in Isaiah 60 that God had showed me the night before and got ready for my outing with Natalie and Sue.

We took a tour all over Lambaré, which included visiting a cemetery, learning about the statues on top of Cerro Lambaré, driving through the yacht club, and seeing the neighborhoods where our students live.

Sue told us about the changes that have happened since she moved here, such as new developments on once barren fields, controversial political issues, and community improvements. It was really interesting to hear how many changes she’s seen, both good and bad, since she moved here in 2000.

The whole day was extremely eye-opening. It was a huge reality check of what goes on right around us that we haven’t been seeing by living comfortably with our host family and teaching at a private school. I was reminded of the strongholds Satan has on this country, and the idols these people fall victim to. But the best reminder of all, was how God brought me here for a reason, and that although my year is almost halfway over, that means I still have half a year left to make a difference! ;)

Since that tour of Lambaré, I’ve had a fresh outlook on my purpose here in Paraguay. I’ve been reminded of how much good our school does for this community and have been eager to find more ways to get involved.

During our tour Sue drove us through the “flood zone” neighborhood, where the road has fallen out in some places and garbage litters the fields. We drove through the “settlement,” where families who have moved out of the interior of the country have settled into an overcrowded community on a once barren field just minutes from our school. Sue showed us the houses right underneath high voltage power lines and told us stories of power surges that have exploded houses and of families contracting cancer and other diseases for “unknown reasons” since moving there.

These are the communities where my kids live. 

MY kids.
The ones who shout “Hola Teacher!” when I walk into school.
Who say “Profe, mira!” when they proudly finish their work.
My kids who give me hugs, kisses, and candies when they enter my class.
The students whose teachers tell me “They just LOVE your class.”

For forty minutes, twice a week, each of my little smiling angels get to see Jesus reflected through my smiles, hugs, and silly dances about new vocabulary words.
This, THIS, is why I came to Paraguay.

I thank God that He has reminded me to live in the present and make decisions each day to do my best to serve Him.

I’m tired of the Enemy clouding my days with dark discouragement.

I came to be LIGHT.

I came here to SHINE.


"Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you.
Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn."
Isaiah 60:1-3

Rekindle (Part One)

Two years ago God called me to Paraguay the first time through a few different happenings, but specifically through a passage in Isaiah 2 that tells of a day when the idols will fall away and the Lord will be exalted.
(Isaiah 2:11-22)

My first time in Paraguay I saw many of the strongholds and idols present in the country and heard many stories about the missionaries who come here with a desire to serve, only to leave discouraged and exhausted from the lack of responsiveness to the Gospel. I learned of the nickname "Missionary Cemetery," that has been given to Paraguay based on the actual deaths of missionaries as well as the termination of some missions programs that were unsuccessful here because of this unresponsiveness.
Those stories and the images I saw here myself are what fueled my desire to come back to this country to serve and bring more of God's light into the darkness present here.

Before coming this year I had the idea that I would arrive on fire for change and would be able to get really involved and see my work make an impact on others pretty easily. This was definitely a good vision, but not what has happened this year so far. My schedule has been so busy with teaching, which has been a real challenge itself, that I haven't been able to get super involved in other ministries as much as I would like. I've also been dealing with a lot of spiritual warfare, which has discouraged me in my work here and has left me sitting in my room some nights wishing I was back home already. It's drained me of my energy and has often taken away my passion for being here. I really have to remind myself a lot of why God brought me here and what I have to offer.

Some of what has led to these feelings has been a pure lack of knowledge of what's going on around me which has made each day just seem mundane, but that is all beginning to change...

Two weeks ago, New Horizon's General Director, Sue Givens, finally arrived back in Paraguay and since then I have learned so much about our school, our students, the neighborhood, the country, missions, and more. Finally meeting Sue after talking to her for a year and a half through emails and phone calls was so great, and I have really enjoyed talking to her and learning more about her work here in Paraguay and her heart for these people.

Natalie, Sue, me, and Alex
on Sue's first day back at school

Talking to Sue has reminded me of why I came here in the first place and has helped me start getting out of the discouraged funk I was in for weeks.

Last night while sitting next to Sue at the middle and high school Mother's Day celebration, she leaned over and whispered the stories of some of the kids as they performed...
"That girl and her brother are straight A students..."
"That girl's dad works a minimum wage job at the yacht club..."
"That boy is an artist..."
"That girl's mother died when she was in second grade..."

9th grade girls

Slowly these students started becoming more than the teal polos that say hi to me everyday in the halls and my mind began to fill in the gaps and see these smiling kids as products of the love and care New Horizon has offered them. I've been teaching here since February, but I haven't had a chance to learn each student's story or go look around the neighborhood to see where they live. All I've known about them is what I've see them do in my class or in the halls. Now I'm finally starting to learn what makes each student unique. 

After talking to Sue at the celebration, my heart was so filled with love for my students all over again and the spiritual fire that I had been missing recently was starting to ignite again.
I ended up going to church last night with Alex at Fuente de Vida (Source of Life) and God began reminding me of why I wanted to come here in the first place.
He brought me back to Isaiah and told me:

"Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you.
Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn."
Isaiah 60:1-3

Hearing this passage at church was like a big hug from the Lord. I heard Him saying, "See this? Remember the plans I have for you here?" And I began to get excited again about the time I still have left this year. 

When I got home, I looked through a couple care packages I received yesterday and read a stack of index card notes from Nicole Enzinger, three Olivet students who share our heart for Honduras, and a bunch of people from Nicole's church. Each one was so encouraging and they were filled with scripture, truths, and prayers that I have so desperately been needing these last few weeks. 

I went to bed super encouraged, with a light heart and an excitement to keep learning more and letting God use me every way He can.