Surrender

I'm not quite sure how many people, if any, know this about me, but I sincerely enjoy using song lyrics as prayers. Whether I'm in the car, in the shower, or doing homework, I love using the lyrics to songs to help me form prayers about my life and my future. 

Tonight is one of those nights.

"To the desperate eyes and reaching hands
To the suffering and the need 
To the ones the world has cast aside
Where you want me I will be

I will go, I will go
I will go, Lord send me
To the world, To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
I'm clay within your hands
I will go, I will go, send me

Let me not be blind with privilege
Give me eyes to see the pain
Let the blessing You've poured out on me
Not be spent on me in vain
Let this life be used for change
I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you"

More than ever I'm trusting in the Lord to guide my life and lead me where he wants me to be. I want to be fully surrendered to His leading in every aspect of my life. Paty really challenged me this week and encouraged me to think about how much I'd be willing to give up to follow God's plans for my life. Would I give up my seemingly "perfect" upcoming senior year? That seemed like a really difficult question a week ago, but now it's not seeming quite as hard... Sure this year sounds really great: best friends for roommates, honors housing, fun jobs, student teaching in bilingual kindergarten, first person to graduate in my immediate family... but doesn't following God's every footstep sound even better?

Now family and friends who are having a heart attack while reading this, please don't. I'm not saying I'm leaving Olivet right now... not unless God clearly says to. I'm just learning what my priorities are and whose voice I'm going to listen to when it matters most. 

I think we could all use a reality check about who is really in charge of our lives. Have you stepped back lately and compared what you want with your life to what God wants for you?

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart 

and lean not on your own understanding;

In all ways acknowledge him, 

and he will make your path straight."

-Proverbs 3:5-6

Now I must sleep. I have a long trip ahead of me and we leave in 4 hours, eek!.... ZzZzZz

Processing

Unfortunately I was super busy right before leaving for Paraguay so I was unable to post a pre-trip blog... but now here I am, back in the States trying to make sense of all that has happened in the last two weeks.

Although it is hard to sum up my trip in just a few words, I know I am going to have to since many people don't have the time to sit with me for hours while I spill out all the details about what happened and how God spoke to me throughout my twelve days in Paraguay.

So here's my attempt at summing it up the best I can.

It was AMAZING. Two of the best weeks of my life. This trip was different than my trip to Honduras because it showed me what exactly being a missionary is like. The whole trip I felt an overwhelming familiarity with the country, culture, and of course language, and the whole thing was an immediate confirmation from God that I am heading in the right direction with my life. Above all, this trip showed me that God is pleased with what I have let Him do in my life so far, and that He has even bigger plans on the way. 

That is the short version. I hope you liked it. :]

The last day and a half have been kind of difficult for me. I feel like I'm in a limbo state. I am no longer in Paraguay, the place I'd most like to be right now, but I'm not at home either. I spent yesterday on two 5+ hour flights with a 12 hour layover in between. It was the weirdest thing ever. The only good thing about having such a long travel day was that it gave me time to think, journal, and pray while I wrapped my mind around everything that just happened before jumping into my "normal" life again. (Which doesn't really exist by the way... my life is anything but normal, haha.)

Now I'm at my grandparents' house, still not home yet, and I've been looking at pictures and creeping on everyone's facebook pages all day dying to relive every moment of the trip. I still have an 18 hour drive tomorrow before I will finally be home, and when I finally do get home I know I'll be bombarded with questions from my family about how the whole thing went. Although I'm looking forward to  telling everyone about it, I'm still trying to find the right words to say to convey the thoughts and emotions I've had running through my head since I stepped off the plane in Paraguay on May 9th. Maybe 18 hours in the car with Pa will help me work through that some more....

Anyway... I'm looking forward to sharing all the details and the 2,600 pictures I took with all of you, but please be patient as I haven't even gone through them all myself yet. 

This trip was just another step in the wonderous plan God still has for my future and I am ridiculously excited for the rest!

I read these verses yesterday night and I think they will be what I cling to in the next few weeks and even months as I put all my trust in the Lord to continue writing my story.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart 

and lean not on your own understanding;

In all ways acknowledge him, 

and he will make your path straight."

-Proverbs 3:5-6

Thank you all for your prayers and support! I look forward to continuing this journey with you! 

Dios les bendiga :)

Cassidy

Honduras Love

About 12 or so of my lovely friends are heading to Santa Barbara tomorrow morning!! :D


Click on the names below to read a few of their blogs to keep you updated on the work they will be doing in Honduras while I'm in Paraguay. I can't wait to hear all about it when I return, and then I will join them in June! :)

Marcie - 2nd time to Honduras
She will be in Honduras for the first 6 week trip.

Bekka - 1st time to Honduras
She will be in Honduras for the full 12 week program!

Anna - 1st time to Honduras
She will be in Honduras for the first 6 week trip.

Drew - 3rd time to Honduras
He will be in Paraguay with me and then will fly straight to Honduras for 4 weeks!