So I wait.

Two big, black duffel bags.

Exactly 50 pounds each.

Ready for a 4,000+ mile journey.

...Fast forward 22 months...

Two big, black duffel bags.

Almost 50 pounds each.

Resting from the 4,000+ mile journey.

Colorful duct tape caring for the wounds inflicted by their travel. 

And here I am.

Back "home."

Or at least, that's what they tell me.

"It's so good to have you home."

~~

HOME.

That silly word again.

I'm not sure how I feel about it this time. 

Because this time, I'm not on "vacation" like I was last time. 

Last time was a six-week trip to the US to be with family and friends for the holidays and fundraise for year two. 

Now, it's just life. 

For the first time in a long, long time I'm unemployed.

Currently...

I'm not a missionary.

I'm not a teacher. 

I'm just Cassidy.

Cassidy, who gets her last paycheck on Tuesday.

Cassidy, who has plans for the future swirling in her head, along with a bucketful of emotions.

Cassidy, who left her heart in Paraguay and is finding out what pieces she has here.

And it feels weird. 

The question I've heard the most in these last ten days has been "So how long are you here for?"

And every time I don't know the answer. 

I'm waiting on God. 

And for the first time in my life I'm just... STILL.

No job.

No concrete plans.

...A mountain of debt... 

So I'm just taking things moment by moment. 

One step at a time. 

He told me Step One was Get on the Plane.

Step Two was Go to Lyz's Wedding. 

And now... I wait.

I wait as God reveals Step Three, Four, Five...

But I have faith. I have hope.

I know He'll make a way.

I know He'll show off like always with a Plan much better than my own. 

So I wait.